The year 2000 saw many Regulars virgins deflowered for the first time.

You who read this, if you have witnessed Regulars gigs at all, may well have done so only in the past year or so. Yet there are those who have followed the band right from that peculiar beginning at the Hare and Hounds in November '96.

One such is Katie Mann. As her head was melting at work one day she resolved, with a little prompting, to tell her tale. And here it is.

features

Beanz meanz Regs:
a band history,
written on the clock

Mental stimulation

So there I was, sitting at my desk, and bored to the point of no return. Even the sounds of JSBX were not helping. It really was drastic. My task for the day was inventing content for the Heinz intranet.

So I e-mailed Pete for some mental stimulation, as he knows the answers to questions like 'What the hell am I doing here?'. His advice/request was for me to write an article about The Regulars. "How ironic," I thought, "Heinz and The Regulars all in one day."

Before I could write I would have to drag myself out of office lethargy mode. Knowing that it was still a couple of hours before I could get down to the pub, this proved to be a big problem.

When I think of The Regulars I think West Midlands Travel, Championship Manager and of course the best pop band Birmingham has seen for a long time.

When you usually think of pop bands you think of pre-pubescent teens singing predictable but catchy tunes and doing choreographed dance routines. When you think of The Regulars you think of excellent - but not always decipherable - lyrics and Pete bouncing about on the stage trying not to pogo into Stu.

Timelapse backdrop

The Regulars have always had the ability to stand out in a crowd. Unlike most of their peers, they resisted the temptation to imitate the likes of Oasis and Kula Shaker. This is possibly because Oasis are shite. But who am I to judge those ugly northern monkeys?

In the early days The Regulars had a distinct style that was a lot slower than the current one. I recall a few varied versions of Slow 25; it went from s...l...o...w to being as upbeat as their new songs. If someone had told me that a couple of years later they would be producing stuff like They built over the traino (which, incidentally, I think you should play more often), I would have had a little chuckle to myself and put it down to insanity.

The band's ability to be upbeat about topics such as work never ceases to amaze me. 35 hours depicts the whole work ethic in such a way as to smack you between the eyes and show you just how destructive working is. Everyone has pulled a sicky at one time or another, as there are more constructive things to be doing, like drinking or shopping.

Many a cold evening has been spent in freezing studios. The only thing that kept The Regulars warm was the heated debate about how a song should end or when the next rehearsal should be held.

I really don't envy them the time spent in these places. They look like they have been furnished with the chairs from your old sixth form college, and the padded walls make you feel like you should be wearing the latest in long-sleeved white jackets.

The band at ease after
one of those Flapper gigs, late
1997. Note the hair situation here

click this image to view it in big

Bouncy antics

The Flapper is definitely a memorable venue. How many of you can claim to have been to a Regulars gig and not felt that you are going to pass out from the heat? But the place is more or less the home of the Regulars. It has witnessed the bouncy antics of Sarah, the growth of Paul's hair and the many broken strings during the earlier gigs.

Whenever I watch a Regulars gig I feel the need to analyse it, as the lads like to know if they have played better than the last time. I can honestly say that they have improved dramatically since the early days. Pete's voice is a lot stronger; Stu has learned not to grimace every time he hits a bum note; and Paul is slowly but surely emerging from the back of the stage.

As for the lads themselves...well, what can I say without placing myself firmly in the do-do? The lads certainly appeal to the ladies. The baton has been passed between them and I believe it is currently held by Chopper (so to speak). It is funny to watch the female contingent of the audience swooning while he sings North star. I have never before seen such active audience participation.

The underground movement of Stu's and now Chopper's speaks volumes. And I can't think of anything else to say that isn't incriminating.

Pretty jig

Memorable chapters from Regular history include:

• Sarah's dancing
• Chopper's rise to sex-god status
• Chris getting very lost on the way to a Cov gig
• The Regulars supporting Whistler, a totally top band
• Pete reading from Teach Yourself Winning At Job Interviews mid-set
• Stu asking the audience who is going to buy him a pint
• Numerous hours in Stu's bedroom playing Championship Manager while his dad was downstairs threatening to switch off the electricity if they kept jumping up and down every time Grimsby Town scored
• Paul's mate Rob, the one who always heckles them at the Flapper
• The lavish buffet at The Dog the day Lie down and fight was released
• Trying to fit five people, two amps and three guitars into a Volkswagen Polo and still see out of the windows

The last gig I went to was the at the Jug of Ale, on 22 November 2000. I hadn't seen a Regulars gig for some time. It was like watching a whole new band. All the new songs are excellent; deciding which one should be the new single was a hard task.

I took a friend along with me, a friend who loves Steps and Kylie. As The Regulars broke into song he stood back and commented: "It's not exactly Westlife, is it?" This amused me greatly. The thought of Pete et al on stage in little sequinned numbers doing a pretty jig was just too much for a Wednesday evening.

The camera distracts
Katie and Stu from trying
to decipher Regulars lyrics